So Much the Better
05 February 2007
28 January 2007
Airborne SchoolSo, after far too much sitting around in limbo, I've completed my first week of Airborne School. The training is interesting, but there is a lot of standing around. I suppose I can't judge too much as this is my first "real," Army school. The free time concept is still new and strange, but I like it. The class is huge, so he school feels very impersonal, but that seems to be the way this cookie crumbles.
Other than the fact that I am terrible, well, was terrible at executing a PLF, training is pretty good. I fell more than my fair share of times off of the Lateral Drift Simulator, so I was a little sore, but I'm fine now. I'm off to use my next 24 minutes on this computer at the library doing some other stuff, but I hope everyone is well, and staying safe. Bragg in 02 weeks, it's all coming together.
13 January 2007
Stuck in the middleI suppose Exodus was actually rather splendid. Although I spent a week sick in bed, I did enjoy being home and one way or the other, I did see all of my friends and family. All was well, and it was spectacular to have my dog by my side.
However, as soon as I tried to come back to Ft. Benning, everything went pretty bad. My journey back to Benning began with what teetered on a riot in the Delta terminal I was leaving from. As a result, I, as well as many other passengers, missed their flights. I got on the "next available," flight and began making phone calls to find an earlier flight. My Dad did some calling and found a better flight, so my luggage was on one flight, I was on another. I get to Benning, and I have none of my bags.
After Exodus, everyone from my company who was going to airborne was supposed to report back to our Basic Training company. That wasn't terrible. However, a few days after, all my buddies from my platoon went up to airborne to begin, and since I didn't have my uniforms, I was stuck at my company. A few of us were still kicking around to go to Airborne though.
This past Wednesday those of us remaining went to Airborne Hold, the Airborne Hold on Sand Hill. Honestly, it's purgatory, and I truly dislike the place. I don't know when I leave, but it really must occur soon. Airborne Hold is terribly depressing, and I want to actually train; get on with the rest of my training after airborne. There are guys who have been there since November. I don't know if I could do that.
And, since it's a 04 day weekend, and the Drill Sergeants who work there don't want to be there, they locked the bay and told us to find other lodgings until Monday night. It's been a strange week, and I just want to get this show on the road.
20 December 2006
Delusions of GrandeurI guess this is a continuation of the last post. My question was answered by the ex. After all the anticipation, missing me, even going so far as to use the Internet to broadcast that we were in a "complicated relationship" (I still don't know what that means, nor do I know what it's about,) I get the best let down known to man. She barely speaks to me, and when we do, she doesn't seem very interested in actually talking to me. Although, she did clarify that she "Loves," me but doesn't "want to be with," me. Something else I don't understand. She's still away at school for a few more days. Maybe I'll see her when she gets home. Maybe I won't. She's done so much to confuse me that I don't know where to begin. She spent three months telling my best friend how much she missed me, and needed me. I suppose this "hero's reception," from her is fitting.
Oh, and when she did call me the other night, and I wasn't able to say much because I am not feeling well, she became sarcastic during a lull in conversation and said "Great conversation we're having." Got to love the caring. Really, she wasn't like this in the past.
Millions of fish in the sea, and I don't even know where to troll.
17 December 2006
Hello, how are you?I'm not going to lie, this is going to be a quick vent about my perception of the world.
In short, I know it's me who changed. I'm well aware that everyone I know is still the same. They've been doing whatever it is that they do. I am the one who made the life altering decision, and I could not be happier with that decision. I needed to enlist. Although I "know," what I'd be doing right now if I did not enlist, to be honest, I don't know how I'd be pulling off such drudgery. I went to school, I worked, and I came home. Occassionally I spent time with friends, and that sort of thing. I spent a lot of time working out and reading.
Don't get me wrong, that's not a terrible lifestyle, but at twenty years old, you want more out of life. I now have that lifestyle, and that's very good.
However, here's the rub: I come back home on leave, and it's weird. I can't just do the same old things I did. I can't peruse the information I missed on websites I frequented before enlisting, I can't really sit there and watch tv for too long. About all I can pull off is reading or talking to people. But, it's hard to explain to people what I've done for the last few months because they have no baseline to judge or understand what I'm saying.
Then, there's the ex-girlfriend who makes the situation hazy. I have yet to see her because she's still away at school for a few days, but how does that work? She missed me so much while I was down at Benning, and now she barely speaks to me. Am I an image, or some kind of icon to be loved and cared for while I'm an element who writes back, and not a human being who exists and can make phone calls and be there. I realize my friends had to go on with their lives, and I understand that I'm the one just moseying back in to their routines. I don't expect the world just to drop for me, but in some ways, I feel really left out and left behind. I suppose it's only temporary. I'll be back to doing cool things in a few weeks, but for now, I'm confused, and sad to say, a little hurt by the whole situation. I hate to whine, but I figure if I write this down, I'll go back, read it, and perhaps see the whole affair from a different angle.